Diary of an Avoidant

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  1. On getting old

    Getting old is an unpleasant experience for most people but is a hallmark of every life lived long and therefore succ...

  2. Coming clean

    Mindfulness was a vital technique to self-healing that I'd been missing all my life

  3. Crossing paths

    The extent of my guilt is sometimes farther than I can imagine

  4. More realizations

    An social outing gives me perspective on the problems dogging me my whole life

  5. The burden of the wrong solution

    In moments when the pain of a social interaction exceeds the benefit, I tend to cut off contact as quickly as possible

  6. Circling the drain

    My recent negative experiences causes me to lose faith in myself and turn pessimistic

  7. A childhood memory

    Listening to yourself means finding new meaning in old memories.

  8. Are you the body you wear?

    Many take a centered feeling of being squarely in one's body for granted. For me, it's a struggle to accept a negativ...

  9. A legacy of no emotional bonding

    Parents are key to understanding your own avoidance symptoms.

  10. Dark patches and realizations

    When all is illuminated, when clarity has finally come, it means not a walk upwards to heaven but a descent into dark...

  11. A week out of the pressure cooker

    I took an unproductive week away from the social environment that ails me most but don't feel the better for it.

  12. Facing the music of one's faults

    In a previous post I asked the question, "what do I have to lose by undergoing the potentially real harm and pain of ...

  13. Bringing issues into focus

    "Confronting one's problems isn't easy" is such an overused phrase, yet its meaning is so different for everyone.

  14. Starting a new job

    So you're desperate to work and someone finally hands you a golden opportunity, but it's an activity that you're not ...

  15. Regressing due to constant distraction

    Recently I've spent the last few weeks travelling, then spending days away from home and feeling stressed; it's a per...

  16. Losing focus

    It can be very easy to get thrown off balance and lose focus due to challenging situations.

  17. Social anxiety and impulsive behavior

    A risk of exposure to social situations is that my mind is thrown into chaos to the point where I lose my identity an...

  18. A weekend facing my fears

    Being an avoidant means you carry a lifelong disease. It's not a question of getting cured, only of growing your tole...

  19. Loss of identity

    Life is harder if you lose your identity through ways of thinking ingrained since childhood.

  20. The chilling prospect of a new job

    I've started searching for a new job, something I've needed to avoid for a long time. We all need money though, so I ...

  21. The closing of the avoidant's mind

    Avoidants and others with "presentation problems" not only have bad habits that hold them back in life, but also real...

  22. Getting in touch with sadness

    What lies at the core of our being determines who we really are. In my case it's sadness.

  23. Sharing an afternoon

    Everyday social interactions come with a high price tag for avoidants. I use a recent invitation to a friend's house ...

  24. How travel unleashes insecurities

    Many detest airline travel for good reason. In my case, it's a far better opportunity to understand my disorder than ...

  25. The challenge of day-to-day living

    Being an avoidant means confronting daily discomfort in what others may regard as trivial social situations.

  26. Bright spots in life

    "The exception makes the rule" someone famous once said, and all sufferers have a bright spot or two concealed in all...

  27. Are avoidants narcisstic?

    There is a link between avoidance and narcissism. Here is mine.

  28. On the blindfold and taking it off

    Getting through life entails a high dose of denial, but can the blindfold really be taken off?

  29. How to properly scare yourself

    Feeling the full brunt of a condition is a hard but necessary exercise.

  30. Exposure and other challenges

    Do you want to know what the biggest life challenge of being an avoidant is? You've got one guess.

  31. Genesis of a disorder

    People's paths to AvPD may not be the same, but they're similar.

  32. What's in a label

    During my years as a client of the mental health profession, there was an obsession with withholding my diagnosis. Bu...

  33. How I got started with this blog

    This blog is a product of years of life experience, defeats and pain. But it started with a simple disovery.